When the Opposite Action Skill Saves the Day

It is rare that I say a skill is a favorite of mine. It is a ranking system that I rarely use on the blog. However, there is something magic about Opposite Action. When I first used it, I felt a little nuts. It seemed pretty radical to me to just decide to do the opposite of my instinct. It is radical. In fact, it can be extra handy to pair this skill with Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance can be the perfect prelude to Opposite Action. It means what it says, doing the opposite of what you would normally do. I have used this skill a lot at events. I have some social anxiety, so I frequently have to radically accept my anxious feelings about the event. Then I can do the opposite of my instinct and pretend to have a good time. I start talking to the first person I see that I can safely connect with.

In this example, the opposite action isn't something I have to do for the entire event. Usually, if I distract myself for a few minutes with an opposite action, I start to enjoy myself, then I can use other skills for participation, and observation, and I can sometimes even begin to build mastery. Below, the paper dolls are dressed in their evening wear because emotional regulation skills help us to better get along with and interact with the world around us. In this infographic, the dolls are facing out to symbolize taking the opposite approach to a situation.

When have you needed to use opposite action to be skillful? What helps you remember to practice opposite action? We'd love to hear your stories about using or when you needed to use this skill.